Author Topic: cunts at my door (Read 3,154 times)
shenandoah
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« May 12, 2021 21:14:33 GMT »
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I think at the end of the month we should vote a CUNT OF THE MONTH and present the winner with a plaque made by The Soapbox

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Tuckerman
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« May 12, 2021 21:18:06 GMT »
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NAME: Constantin. He works for Uber Eats. Is Constantin a Greek name? Can someone ask Themis?

WHAT WAS BEING DELIVERED: My missus had been going on about the iced green tea you can get from Starbucks. Didn't think they'd be upto much but she brought one in for me one day last week and it was real good. I really, really wanted one the other day but she refused to drive out to pick one up. I told her I'd just order off Uber Eats then seeing as I am pathetic and have to rely on a woman to drive me places because I cannot drive. She didn't think I would but boy did I show her. 20 minutes pass after I tell her I'll Uber Eats one the DING DONG. She cannot believe it, she's gobsmacked.

"You haven't have you? Surely not?"
"I BLOODY WELL HAVE. I WILL GET MY ICED GREEN TEA ONE WAY OR ANOTHER"

As I'm not a total monster, I got her one as well. I'm at peace with what I've become - a cunt who gets iced green tea delivered to his door - and this will not be the last iced green tea I get delivered, I'm sure.

OTHER COMMENTS: Really, this is the blandest cunt so far. He left the drinks on my step and was already back in his car before I opened the door. No pleasantries exchanged, nothing. Looking at the picture, he reminded me a bit of some cunt who used to be in Eastenders years ago. But then I looked him up and they actually look nothing alike at all.

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jp
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« May 12, 2021 21:19:03 GMT »
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i'm looking forward to the spin off thread "whore at my door" where tucker orders himself a different hooker each week once his mrs leaves him for barry from asda.

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Tuckerman
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« May 12, 2021 21:20:34 GMT »
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jp Avatar
i'm looking forward to the spin off thread "whore at my door" where tucker orders himself a different hooker each week once his mrs leaves him for barry from asda.


She'd probably take the doorbell with her the cunt. I'd have to get a GoFundMe going to get a new one.

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jp
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« May 12, 2021 21:21:31 GMT »
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pretty sure constantin spunked in your ice teas before delivering them mate. i get that kind of vibe from him

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mahoney
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« May 12, 2021 21:23:45 GMT »
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Why wait until tomorrow....
Don't ruin the anticipation. 


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shenandoah
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« May 12, 2021 21:25:00 GMT »
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Wait, did Constantin come just to bring you 2 iced teas?!
Is that it?! Two iced teas??
What a fucking waste of life

He must have washed his balls in your teas

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Tuckerman
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« May 12, 2021 21:32:29 GMT »
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:-X Yes, just 2 iced teas, nothing else. The cunt works for Uber Eats. He didn't make the teas and I'm pretty sure he doesn't care what he's delivering. If he (or someone else_ did spunk in them or dip his balls in them, well, the drinks we're delicious and refreshing so I wouldn't care that much.

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shenandoah
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« May 12, 2021 22:05:20 GMT via mobile » -
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Or perhaps you just like ball flavoured tea. Nothing wrong with that.

Btw if he works for Uber Eats then he is a UBER CUNT ahah

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jp
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« May 12, 2021 22:53:34 GMT »
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couldnt help but notice proboards was down a few minutes ago. im hearing rumours it was due to this thread causing unprecedented traffic to their servers.

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mahoney
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« May 13, 2021 12:06:17 GMT »
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Constantin looks like he spends too much on male grooming products. Bet he uses manscaped & has a subscription delivery service to a shaving company.

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barny
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« May 13, 2021 12:07:39 GMT » -
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Cuntstantin

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mahoney
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« May 13, 2021 12:21:48 GMT »
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Expensiveballwaxantin

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shenandoah
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« May 13, 2021 12:25:28 GMT »
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That's why he disappeared before Tux could even open his door
He dipped his balls in Tux's tea and then ran off to the car to shave them
quick, quick before they get dry

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mahoney
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« May 13, 2021 12:33:27 GMT »
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So far I have liked the drivers in the order they was presented. Give nameless Chicken Kebab man a break. Probably not earning much, received no tip, looked like it was going to piss down at any second.

1. Nameless_Kebab_Man!
2. Shawn Michaels
3. Man_Cream

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MaskedWrestler
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« May 13, 2021 14:59:07 GMT »
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I think Tucker use to have a similar thread with cunts he worked with.

That was also a great thread but I like the voyeuristic approach in this one better.

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mahoney
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« May 13, 2021 16:41:31 GMT »
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It's the knowing that Tucker could drop a new character at any moment which is bringing me back to the soapbox time and time again.

I thought we were dead.. but now we feel vital again. Also steve, your new tough guy persona on the soapbox is sexy.

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Columbia_rocks_man
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« May 13, 2021 17:39:53 GMT via mobile »
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:-X Yes, just 2 iced teas, nothing else. The cunt works for Uber Eats. He didn't make the teas and I'm pretty sure he doesn't care what he's delivering. If he (or someone else_ did spunk in them or dip his balls in them, well, the drinks we're delicious and refreshing so I wouldn't care that much.


Wait. So a few posts ago you claimed you only get “two takeaways a month”. Now you reveal you will literally get two iced motherfucking teas delivered to your house? Pull the other one m8


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mahoney
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« May 13, 2021 17:44:57 GMT »
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Chrissie, why must you be such a hater. It was clearly a typo on Tucker's behalf,

he meant to say two takeaways a day LOL!!!!

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mahoney
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« May 13, 2021 17:48:27 GMT »
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Thursday night takeaway has to be a thing surely? We're awaiting our next challenger.

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